Christmas Flyers

Rants Raves and Other Random Mutterings:

Thankfully the first of the holidays is over. I think I have enough steam to make it to the end of the year. Let's talk a little about my recent trip back to NY, starting with airline travel. Last year I flew back east no less than 10 times. Cheap tickets and rent a cars made the option of a weekend in NY viable. I could breeze through San Jose airport and the entire trip with layover (Chicago or Philly) in about 6 hours. Forget it now. The lines at security are very long and it seems that the only thing we are accomplishing is wasting huge amounts of time and money. Never mind the stress the local news has burdened me with prior to my trip.

I know how to make a number of nasty weapons from items legal to bring on a plane. Gee I hope no bad people saw that week long series of reports before Thanksgiving. Okay back to San Jose at 5:30 am on T-day. I'm waiting to board my plane after having my computer swabbed for explosives. Listen if I want to blow up my family for the holidays I hardly need plastique.

Now our security agent was a nice man of about 75 who weighed a good 25lbs. less than me. He sat quietly and deliberately picked his nose and took a good inventory of his findings. I was praying that I wouldn't be called to be searched. Once on the plane it was business as usual.

My seat was between two people who each weighed over 200lbs. I turned magazine pages with my mouth since my arms were pinned to my sides. Fine, just let me get to Chicago and then I'll have an aisle seat. Wrong. Chicago had a problem; no plane. This made for some debate at the counter and then I was told it would be best if I sat down so security wouldn't be called. Nice. 911 has become an excuse for so many things today it's almost an insult to the people whose lives were directly impacted by that day. Finally a plane arrived and I went quietly into the night to get back to Albany.

Now in light of all the recent events and now my own experience, I was so disturbed by what I saw in the local Christmas circulars that I saved them to share here. Click any picture for a closer look.

Wow, Dad shot the Coca Cola Bear, wait it sings too, stop....

Relatives, liquor, and a damn good time to lock up the guns. Guns not included says the fine print. Thanks.

Mom get ready to call Jacoby and Meyers. Is it just me or is this the one toy you really need a helmet for.

Damn postal sorting machines causing your anthrax to leak out, well here's the wrap to make sure it all arrives.

Christmas, camo zip away pants, I don't see the connection, wait...

Oh I see, paired with ski mask glove combo Johnny is ready to boost a 7-11 in winter or summer.

These next two panels are for items that should be sold but not in a Christmas circular.

Beer, condoms, adult diapers, I'll skip this party thank you.

What crack smoking focus groups told the toy companies that these items would be fun.

Frankly both are scarier than the flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz.

Again why in a Christmas flyer unless you know someone who needs to wash his hair, ass, house and clothes, in that order.

Barbie toys that scare me. I don't think either set is really appropriate, what do you think?