RoboCop

Once I recovered from the screaming monkey scare and got used to the maniac cab drivers I settled into a routine of hotel, work, 10lbs of meat products, sleep, rinse and repeat. The second half of the week brought me into Sao Paulo. This city of 18,000,000 people is almost 3 times the size of NYC. Traffic here is like no where else, the cars only drive every other day to ease the congestion from gridlock to crawl. The very wealthy have 2 cars so they can drive everyday. So many people and such a big gap between the rich and poor. On one extreme there is actually a helicopter rush hour for busy executives who cannot wait 3 hours in a car to get from the city center to the highway. The other extreme is the bus system, the huge buses seemed more like cattle cars as there always seemed to be arms and legs hanging out of the windows and each filled to capacity.

The flight to Sao Paulo was no fun. Verig Airlines placed me in a seat with a broken tray table, broken reading light, and broken recline feature. I quietly asked about the broken tray table and before I knew it I was being berated in mangled English by two Brazilian flight attendants. I guess in Brazil you are supposed to be glad you are on a plane, so shut up or take the 3 day hammocks cruise down the river next time pilgrim! I didn't mean to start anything, I swear, all I did was ask a question. Finally I was reduced to hiding under my blanket hoping they would tire and leave me alone soon. No luck but one flight attendant managed to sense my near breakdown and offered me one of the empty seats in business class. That will work, I thought to myself, but no sooner had I settled into my big fat cat business class seat when I was once again berated. This time the purser went nuts because he thought I just got up and helped myself to a business class seat. This would not happen on his watch, be assured. I was invited to return to my original jacked up seat. Ugh! Meanwhile since I had left my original seat it was considered abandoned. My busted chair was now up on blocks, cushions gone, magazines pilfered, even the air sickness bag was gone. I tied the loose ends of my seatbelt since the buckle was apparently lifted during my brief stay up front in the big chair. I resigned myself to 3 hours tied to a milk crate in the steerage section.

Once in Sao Paulo I mentioned to the purser that he had embarrassed me and it was another flight attendant who had in fact offered me the seat in his sacred business section. His reply was that I was wrong, I was not embarrassed, and no matter who brought me up to business I should have known it was wrong since I only had a coach ticket. I guess I failed to read to employee handbook before boarding the plane. My new slogan for Brazil's airline is "F Verig!" Hardly a horror story but it still made for an unpleasant afternoon. Did I also mention that this flight also landed during a huge thunder and lightening storm? Well it did and let just say that more than one passenger commented on the "rock'n'roll" landing.

After a brief 2 hour cab ride we arrive at our next hotel. Much smaller and no screaming monkeys but a real mattress and a nice view. I slept and slept until I could sleep no more. The next day was another day of presentations and an amazing lunch. The audience was bright and engaged, much like their northern counterparts. Consulting here is rewarding and educational. I saw the building made famous by the movie RoboCop from the very top and the very bottom. It is quite impressive almost surreal with it's hard corners and rounded center.

Standing at the base I felt small, no really small. You can't bend you neck far enough to see straight up the front. Whoa! But the view from the top is just plain insane. The roof is wide open and doubles as the helicopter pad. No railings or barriers just the hard edge of the roof ringed by the window washer track. Taking the last few steps up onto the roof felt strange since all you can see is the sky. For a minute you have no frame of reference and it almost looks like you are walking up into heaven. From the roof I really got an eyeful. Skyscrapers everywhere, in every direction, as far you could see. In between many of these modern marvels live some of the poorest people anywhere. Most large cities have similar situations but here the gap between the haves and have nots is extreme. Even the graffiti here feels serious. The city is moving forward quickly but I fear too many are being left behind and eventually something will have to be done or it could get ugly.

One of the perks of being from California these days is our new Governor (elect) Arnie. Everyone knows him for sure. As soon as anyone learned I live in California they first ask about the new Governator. Another highlight of the trip had to be MTV Brazil. There is a whole world of video we are not getting here, I want my MTV Brazil! Finally I must comment on the women of Brazil. The rumors and stories are true. My neck broke multiple times each day as I struggled to keep my focus. The bell shape curve has a fine home here. Overall this was an incredible trip, I went from the edge of the rainforest to the top of the world in one week. Monkeys screaming in my face to a really cute baby playing peek a boo. The world is both larger and smaller at the same time. Chew on that for a while and check back next week for the Mexican travelogue.