The 4th of July weekend is drawing to a close. Jimmy the Jag is packing up and I’m getting ready for the Neil Finn show at The Fillmore tonight. Alextasy is on leave for a few days. She was a great friend while Jimmy was in town. Even though she had to work everyday, usually starting at 6 or 7 am, she managed to hang tough and late. Friday night’s closing party at Club Townshend was a mystical magical sweaty foray into the late late underground club scene of San Francisco. It was Jimmy’s birthday weekend and Andy had proclaimed this party to be a must. Alextasy dressed to kill, thrill, and twice caused my heart to be still. Head to toe in black. She’s such a little rock star! I had a new outfit that Jim and I had picked out with the help of the staff at Nordstrom’s. Charcoal jean style pants of a cotton poly blend coupled with a Diesel OD Green V-neck sweater with a Salmon highlight along the shoulder and outer arm completed my look. We parked across the street in a private indoor lot that gave us cover and easy access to the car later.
Jim met us at the front door and after we were frisked we received wrist bands. The scene was out of a movie. A huge industrial warehouse space converted into a wild arena of music and sweat. The crowd was somewhat thin, but we were early, we took advantage of this time to explore both rooms and check our coats. We settled on the back room which was hosting a dance party with my favorite DJ David Harness spinning the nicest “naked music” in the city. Jim and I took shifts dancing with Alextasy. She never stopped and both Jim and I needed to rest our legs periodically. The club crowd in SF is very friendly and non-confrontational. Bumps and missteps are laughed off and you can even talk to total strangers without some jarhead getting in your face. I made a few new friends and one by one Jim and Alexis folded as the night turned into morning. The music and dancing was only the palate on which my friends shared their laughter and joy. Music is something that makes us all a little younger. I wrote a review of the recent Who show in my monthly message and questioned what and who is old.
I did scan the crowd at the nightclub to be sure that I wasn’t the oldest man in the joint. If I am then I leave. I remember the “creepy” dude at Sneaky Pete’s and The Down Under. These are the clubs I cut my teeth on back when I was a fearless teenager. There was always one guy who really didn’t belong, he needed to go home, I fear I may become this man. I met Alextasy at the airport when she returned from NY last week. She gleefully presented me with an article she tore from a recent issue of Details. Mr. Kevin Gray puts forth an interesting view on men in his article titled “The younger woman”. He writes so well that I almost forgot it was an article, it read more like a piece from a medical journal. Unfortunately I was reminded at the close that Mr. Kevin Gray uses his own experiences exclusively and thus the entire work is tainted. Of course he also hit a few tender spots and made some great observations. True, we men of sophistication have a lot more confidence and can in most social settings get what we want. We have depth and breadth of many forms of knowledge and we are much better off financially than our younger rivals. But they have what we think we may have lost, youth.
Back to
The Who, that night in Mountain View Pete was young, way young. In years he was
older than me but when he played it was 1969 again. Clean and furious the
crunches and power chords tore the years down and I too was back in time feeling
the joy of the song. Jimmy was at my side and the warm night was not
unlike so many spent in Saratoga New York. In this context time is
relative, I know that’s not mine but it fits since time is often the way we measure our “oldness”.
I admit it, my friends skew young and I often date women a few years my junior.
Mr. Kevin Gray of Details would have you think I am some old sorry guy with no kids no
future and a lot of baggage that needs a fine fresh filly to carry it. Perhaps
he can only find Gold Diggers, Thrill Seekers, Good Students, and the deadly
“Daddy I Miss Yous” since he can’t seem to deal with people as a whole.
Everybody in his world has a nice label and he only interacts with them at the
one level. So of course if all you do is nurture a student or spend cash then
you get what you are looking for.
I think of the age difference among my friends and it doesn’t seem to matter that much. My newest friends are still finding their way and have not developed into what they will become. I share this with them, this makes us friends and fellow travelers so why wouldn’t we all laugh and share? The same is true of the women that attract me. I find independence and potential as a mojo plus. I am learning and growing everyday and that is a youthful approach to life. I can’t wait for tomorrow and I love the way my friends continue to surprise me. During Darlene’s recent visit she and Andy were discussing the “Spider-Man” movie and once Andy realized she hadn’t seen it, he provided her the means to take her entire clan. This was one of my newest friends reaching out to one of my oldest. I was so touched and I know Darlene was too. These types of guerilla acts of kindness make me feel young; all of us were just hanging out and taking care of each other.
That is the attraction of youth, things still feel new. As long as you never lose that perspective you can not get old. The years will still roll by but now they are welcomed as offering new opportunities and joys. I had a brief moment of fame as I was recognized from the cable access show the other day. The woman was complimentary and she said that it had caused her to contact some friends and see what fun they could cook up. It felt good to motivate another person to participate in life. So many people let life happen to them and then complain when shit goes bad. Yeah everybodys got a story that will break your heart; it’s the recovery and life after that count. I have more respect for people who make their way and make mistakes than for the natural superstars. Learn to accept people and embrace their baggage as long as it is not toxic. A brief word on toxic baggage, we all know what this stuff is and I do not advocate working too closely to it. It can hurt and even cause permanent lasting heart scars so take of you first before embracing others. Plus you need to keep your identity and self image strong if you ever want to be a positive force in this world.
Snowy has
been on me to quit whining, pining and cryin’ about my advanced years. She
claims I have way more issues with it than anyone else. Well thanks to Mr. Kevin
Gray and I quote,
“You are not a destination old man, you’re simply a way
station.” I fear for my honor. Flashback to the “geezer” in the club, is he me,
is me he, is bliz blaz ahhhhhhhhhhh……… Wait why did Alextasy decide to rip this
page from the magazine and present it to me? She knows a real “geezer” and it’s
not me. I do know some of the guys from Mr. Kevin Gray’s world and they are a
lonely breed. No friends, only serial relationships dejour. Other men are all
rivals and they are always on guard, that’s what gives them away and makes them
look old. That’s not me or my life. In fact it is only when I sweat it and do
something weak like scanning the line for someone older that I am old. Peter
Pan complex, libertine reaction to a divorce, midlife crisis, pervert, displaced
parental yearnings, should I go on?
If Pete Townshend can be both young and wise then I want some.. It can be done and it’s easier than you might think. My dear friend Darlene recently lost 10 years and is so far keeping it off. She took a risk and went outside her comfort zone and holy moly it has paid off, she is the only rock star mother of four I know. The fountain of youth has always been right here. Take a cup and go for it! Thanks to all my friends for showing what love really means? As long as you love and are loved you will always be young. Peace…..