Day 4 & 5

I complained about everything being gray so today we got a new color, white. Yes kids it snowed, slushed, slurry, flurry, what ever it was it sucks. Wet and cold. Again I return to the children to show me the silver lining. They suited up and hit the yard. I watched Dave microwave his son's mitten then send him back out into the brisk air. I hovered to the fireplace and watched out the picture window.

More visits with Dave and Julie, Becky and Kane, kids, dogs, cats, and a very interesting visit with Jerhanner and Jill. Birthday party kidtown whack fest holiday candle blowin bruh ha ha ha ha hah haha uh ok.

Day 6

The Big Apple beckons so I go. The drive was a terror, driving freezing rain and no visibility. What the heck I had a rental so I buckled in good and set the cruise control for 70 and turned the high beams on. I made the trip in under 4 hours and although the weather continues to suck I love the energy that emanates from the metro NY area.

I've gotten some email regarding my recent posts and their somewhat depressing tone. I am actually having fun, you can take the bi-polar out of California but you still have a bi-polar. I like this term. Aren't we all bi-polar? The devil, the angel, the voices that guide us and the voices that torment us are all different description of the same concept. The duality of man, the ying and yang all that fun stuff. My brother and his wife were great hosts and my friends in NY surprised me in new and wonderful ways. I also unearthed a treasure trove of stuff from my early days.

Buried deep in the vaults I dusted off my old yearbooks and college writing samples. Oh my these are bad. Of course I'll post them later so we can all have a good laugh. I also found reviews and photos from plays and musicals I participated in as a teenager. And the finally the photo from my 10th grade formal is going to hurt, me. It's so funny I wish I could put it up now. Anywho I just wanted to clear that up. The people make the difference. I still think the weather will keep me left but this trip made me realize the importance of a history. I may not always like it but it's mine. Apparently mine isn't so bad after all, people are still glad to see me and reconnections are made daily. People have fond memories of me and wish me well. It strange how we beat ourselves up for things most people never remember. Or better to find out I had an impact on someone's life in a positive way. Sometimes the oldest friends are the best (I still love you all back in Cali), they see the growth (hopefully I have) and yet a common thread continues unchanged for 20 years. Holy Jones did I type 20 years.

I never imagined I would ever be old enough to "go back 20 years" with someone other than a sibling. And yet this week I had numerous conversations with people who knew me before I had pubic hair. In fact a few have children the age we were when we became friends. Maybe that's why my hometown feels gray, it reminds me of my age. Then talk with one of the kids and I get happy. They only see the future and it's all new and exciting. I try to live that way now. I don't think Latham is set up to handle my choices and preferences, instead it helped shape them. We all make choices and while I can appreciate and admire Dave and Julie for making a great family and perpetuating the best of what a hometown and roots can do for kids, I can't live it. Or perhaps not now. In some respects I was robbed of parts of my life. Now I am taking them back and it has me on a different path than most of my contemporaries. They smile with amazement and in some respects it's nice to live other people's fantasies.

The grass is always greener. So it is written. What if we took the fence out and all just played nice? Time is hurling us through space and we just get this one trip to make it count. Spirits, ghosts, magic or crossing over is all fine but the real work is done when you are ALIVE. So be alive now and save the chain rattling for your ghost days. Oh am I talking to myself or you?

Day 7

I can feel the pull. It's getting closer, pay my toll then under the river and I am back in it. Shmack downtown! The memories and sites all come back. The Empire State Building stands as the guardian of the sky. I wandered the streets down to Madison Square Garden and Macy's. Along the way I even found a Jack store (inside joke for my buds back left)! I grabbed some souvenirs for Alexis and Snowy and then it was time to catch up with Dan.

Dan works in The New York Design Center on Lexington Avenue. Right in the eye of the storm. He is well and happy and then some. Dan seems to have found his center. He was ok in Cali but he is really in his element here in The Big Apple. We ducked into a small Irish pub for lunch and we swapped stories for the entire hour. Dan continues to expand his animation and music. This made possible by a sweet 9-5 gig that pays the bills and leaves the evenings and weekends free to be discovered as a rock star or artist or both. Whoa! Dan could do his own videos; music and visuals. After lunch with Dan I jetted off to Connecticut to catch up with Sondra.

Sondra and I go back to high school. She is friends with my sister Erin and by default she picked me up in the deal. She's a real person and I can always count on her to make me laugh. Plus we have bad bad dirt on each other from our youth and we can talk about it to each other. Usually I only see Sandra when I get married although we talk on the phone and email. In fact I do the website for her catering business. Anywho she now lives in the land of World Wrestling Entertainment, for proof see the photo of the headquarters.

Dan and Sondra helped me finally get a grip on this trip. I should embrace my past as much as I do the future. Time has closed old wounds and I have to stop being my own worst enemy. If I had half of the faith in Sean that the rest of you guys have I would be unstoppable, but I guess I am. Ugh! So much head cheese in such a small space. The last picture is my graphical representation of the entire trip. There is some gray but overall it was beautiful and spiritual. They gray creates texture and contrast with the clouds and sky. My history is part of the texture that is my life and it really has a purpose that is more good than evil. I want to thank everybody for making my trip super groovy and since I pay for the web space I am going to name names in no particular order.

Jason Karin Justin Megan Kane Becky Kane Jr. Ron Mom Mary Teresa Jerhanner Jill Tony Scott Amanda Joe Tracee Laura Darlene Phil Ned Dave Julie Daniel Andrew Dan Sondra Will

Thank-you All!

Peace,
Sean