Timeline entry 032 of 245

Recovered 2001–2007 · Old School

Ebay

Old School era · 2001–2002

Original site section; exact posting date did not survive

934 words 0 surviving media item(s) Back to the timeline

Oh my God! I went to see Nikka Costa again here in San Francisco. She is a friggin' rock star. Nikka stirs something in me, but that's another story. Jimmy the Jag was in town for a week of concerts and hanging with leftcoastlove. Here's the rundown on the shows I'm doing in the upcoming weeks:

  • Wed Feb 13 - Slayer
  • Thurs Feb 14 - Nelly Furtado
  • Sun Feb 17 - Busta Rymes
  • Wed Feb 20 - Willie Nelson
  • Sun Feb 24 - Craig David
  • Thur Mar 7 - Gorillaz

Finally I came across this ad on ebay from Albany NY. Help me understand this one.

I will kick your ass.
Item # 1641798199
Everything Else:Services:Other
Currently
$1.75
First bid
$0.01
Quantity
1
# of bids
4 bid history
Time left
6 days, 22 hours +
Location
Albany, NY
Country/Region
USA/Albany
Started
Sep-23-01 14:06:38 PDT
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Ends
Sep-30-01 14:06:38 PDT
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Seller (Rating)
hail_brak (3)
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High bid
rippea (5)
Payment
See item description for payment methods accepted
Shipping
Will ship to United States and the following regions:
Asia. Caribbean. Europe. Mexico and Central America. Canada Australasia. South America. See item description for shipping charges.
Item Revised Before First Bid
To review revisions made to this item by the seller, click here.
Seller assumes all responsibility for listing this item. You should contact the seller to resolve any questions before bidding. Auction currency is U.S. dollars ( $ ) unless otherwise noted.

Winning bid receives an ass-kicking from me personally. I am 6'0" and weigh over 230 lbs. If you win this auction, I will personally come to your house and kick your ass. I guarantee that I will not break any bones or kill you, nor will I use any weapons on you, but I will give you a good beating. I will do this under two conditions:

1) You or anyone else does not press charges against me(after all, you bought the ass-kicking),
2) You do not fight back or attempt to physically harm me in any other manner (this is your ass getting kicked, not mine).

Buyer provides round-trip plane ticket to the nearest airport, as well as cab fare to your house and back. If you are not close to an airport, you may provide me with a train ticket or other means of transportation. Do not pick me up, as I will be attacking you completely randomly. Buyer must also provide good, clear directions to their house, as well as any business expenses for if I need to stay in a hotel or buy food for myself during the trip. Most likely though I will just fly in, kick your ass, and then leave.

Upon my arrival, I will select a random time to come over and kick your ass. It may be when you are sleeping, or showering, or any other time during the day/night when you are most vulnerable. During this beating I may damage one or more of your household items, if I have to break glass to get into your home or knock over furniture if you attempt to run from me. This should be expected by you, and covered in my expenses. If you are married or have children, I may choose to slap around your family a little bit, but only if I'm feeling particularly generous. They should be informed of this, and expect it as well.

Bidding starts at one cent ($0.01) but remember the winner must pay all expenses for my travel if they wish for me to come and kick their ass.

I will accept check, money order, or Paypal. Or you could just let me use your valid credit card for a few days and we'll call it even.


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2.
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3.
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4.
If you have questions - contact the seller hail_brak before you bid.
5.
Place your bid!

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About this recovered page

This page was recovered from Internet Archive material. Original wording and spelling were retained. Obsolete navigation, scripts, dead outside links, and broken image placeholders were removed.

Timeline placement: Original site section; exact posting date did not survive.

Original path: /old_school/ebay.htm

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