Number two add 10lbs to my weight.
You know I should really remove that one because it just doesn't happen.
If boot camp didn't do it back in 1984 why should I think that it'll happen
now. Plus it is starting to come around to my advantage, guys my age
don't have a 28 inch waist and I can wear just about anything now. I
do go to the gym as a way to justify my continued addiction to American
tobacco products so I have managed to add some definition to my wire frame
but it really is what it is. Another benefit of being trim is that
other things look really big in comparison. Enough said on that
subject. I love to shop so I did indeed add well over 10lbs of new
clothes to my closet. Alright check two.
2002 Resolutions
- Quit smoking (crack)
- Add 10lbs (of clothing to my closet)
- Reduce debt (in relation to my income)
- No holiday alone
- Act as if....
- Make my place a destination
- Write 2 essays a month
- Explore the local scene more
- Make a difference for 3 people
- Work 10 shows
- Go on 5 dates
- More new music
- See Jim more
- Stop selling myself short
Number three is another perennial favorite. I should
just wake up and realize that I will always owe some company somewhere
money. When cash was tight and income potential was limited I was
often in over my head left with only a few bucks until the next paycheck.
Those days are gone and since I've owed money for so long to so many
companies my credit is great and if I need it there is some relief. My
debt number has actually remained about the same for over five years.
My income has tripled over that same period so the pressure is continually
reduced. I still get hinky about my debt from time to time but my
little addition makes that a win. If gets to be a problem then maybe
I'll get more worked up over it.
Number four is a problematic. Being
bi-polar makes the holidays extra magnetic. Rather than try to
maintain flight control in the friendly frantic and sometimes freak filled
skies of the family airspace I have often opted to go it alone. Back
in them there drinkin' days it posed another issue. For my older
friends may I invoke the "30 beers for 30 years" fiasco of 1994? Sure
we laugh about it now but yikes and double yikes. Being out and about
during the holidays is more work but isn't that the little hidden nugget we
always come back to here at Leftcoastlove.
Work is a verb and action causes reaction and life and fire and wind and uh oh.........uh I'm lost and alone here......retrace my steps.....back....back...oh yeah a nugget. Ok then work takes energy and isn't that what keeps it all going. Being a spectator at a concert is one thing but being a spectator in your life is joyless. No need to make any additions to item four, all the holidays this past year were spent out in the world. If I didn't have plans I ushered a show. I'll never forget Nelly Furtado on Valentine's Day or Labor Day in Newport. Alright check four.
Number five is a new entry.
The movie Boiler Room has a scene where
Ben Affleck is making a pitch to future employees. He tell them, "Act
as if....your Dad is President of the company, you have 9 inches, you are in
control, etc.". Nice. So maybe I don't have to go all the way
literally and stuff a sock in my pants or anything but the idea is
confidence. People are drawn to confidence, confidence is contagious,
confidence is key. I have made huge strides this year. Just ask
me. I'm great now! So hot so hip so hey now! Thank you
very much. Alright check five.
No I'm not going to torture you with the rest of the list since I did
pretty well slam dunk all of them so let's just look at one in
particular. Number nine is a hard one to quantify but I think I did
ok. I'll start with Andy. He has made a huge impact in my life
and I think I'm starting to pay back his bursts of good karma. Andy
was sick for a while this year and in the hospital.
Far from home and family the hospital is a scary place. I visited with him and tried to be there when he needed it. During a few visits I found my hand in his and he was telling me that I didn't know how important my friendship was to him. I think I do, he's a big part of my tribe and/or family here in California. He pushed me back out into life and I don't think he knows how much I owe him. My confidence and sophistication continue to grow under his tutelage. Out with the gym shoes in with the Pumas. Out with the classic rock and in with the latest R&B, dance, soul, pop, techno, take a chance, let it grow in your melon, music. My time and energy helped Andy know he wasn't alone out here and that he does have a real friend in me when he was down.
Lounge Lizard Larry comes to mind as another example of my efforts to empower people around me. Smart funny and full it wit, all he needed was another outlet. Something new, something different, something he was hesitant to try. I encouraged him to get back into life and take some risks. Shout and see who listens. He always had something to say about everything I wrote for the website. I egged him to write his own and now he has. In fact I just got off the phone with him. He's basting his bird and hosting his family for the holiday. I hardly hear any sad or depressed stories from Larry anymore. Now I am not going to take total credit for that but I know the spirit of Leftcoast moved Larry since he was almost brought to tears when he heard I was being laid off. He still owes me a new essay though.
Finally I think of Snowy. We have come a long way this year and
while she has added a truckload of love to my life I know she is different
and better since joining forces with me. Right-click, drill down, peel
the onion, follow the yellow brick road, it's all fair game when we get
together. Nobody is safe and all bets are off or is it on?
Anywho I think she'd a agree that her apple shines a little brighter these
days. It was fun and I did it all without wanting or expecting
anything in return. That's hard. Perhaps the hardest of them
all. Human nature is to look for some sort of reward for our efforts.
Good close tight friends take work and to work for free is not a
natural state for those of us who are not Gandhi or Buddha. I held her
hair, so to speak, and I know she appreciates it.
I think for next year I will remove the first three or just change them permanently. Those withstanding I think I did pretty well. My list wasn't particularly difficult but I think they were all worthwhile (especially getting off the rock). Go enjoy the turkey and family and get ready for another year of lessons and love from Leftcoast.
Peace,
--Sean--